Hit the ground Running

The school year is back in full swing, my GLT papers are done, and I have to focus on my new classes. After being my own teacher all summer, and learning and researching on my own, I would say going to class is one of the hardest aspects to coming back. All of my classes within my major are conversational classes where we all pretty much just sit and talk. However, I am taking geography this semester, and last week the teacher actually yelled at me for speaking without being called on. Its not like I interrupted anyone, I just contributed to the conversation. I was embaressed and confused...I dont think I have gotten yelled at in a classroom since jr high! Needless to say, it hasnt been the smoothest transition. Another difficult part is having every minute of my day planned out. And not getting naps! I dont know if I am busier than I was last semester, but i now do not consider it healthy. This American busyness is exhausting, and I am consistently not living up to others' expectations, simply because my body shuts down. I am not able to finish a day without 2 cups of coffee-one in the morning, and one in the afternoon. My body doesnt even have sufficient energy to finish the day! This is not ok, in my opinion.

This semester has also been very difficult because it already has a theme-loss. Just in the last week two of my friends have lost family members, one their mom, the other a cousin. A girl younger than me here at APU also died this summer from a brain anyurism, and my roommate almost lost her brother to drugs and alcohol. The rest of the people in my program and I feel like we have lost a part of ourselves in the countries that we left. This is topped with about half of my closest friends studied abroad this semester, and i am feeling their absence. Also, for ASB, two of the top people in admin that I would be working with are gone, one for sabbatical, the other because of heart surgery.

Well if that didnt get you down, what will? Know that i am not completely depressed, and that I have people to lean on, but any encouragement is welcome. Senior year is just turning out to be a lot harder than I expected, especially with the lingering idea than in a few short months I am going to lose what has been my home for the last 4 years.

I appreciate all of you, and am sorry if I am being a downer. A lot of exciting things have happened this year, and when things lighten up I will be sure to tell you all about them.

Love,
Kelly

Readjusting...

So the last couple of weeks have been really crazy...when I got back home I got to spend a little time with my family, and then I was off to LA, where I had one day to get everything out of my storage unit and get my apartment ready because as an ASB we went the next day up to San Francisco with other student leaders. 

It was quite a week up there! They wouldnt tell us when we were getting up or what we would be doing, so every morning I was awoken by loud screaming and the lights being turned on somewhere between 6 and 8 am. By the 2nd day I broke down because it was so hard... I went from being alone for 3.5 months to sharing a basement room with 100 girls! I was pretty much over it. The only thing that got me through the week was the service projects that we were assigned to. The first day we went to a AIDS hospice where we helped paint the entire inside and gardened outside. It was really great, because this specific house only accepts people who are HIV positive and are also homeless. There is no time limit for their stay, and they are able to get all of the resources and medical stuff that they need. I talked to a guy that did drugs for 40 years, and in the last 3 years has been completely clean. He told me that he did it all by himself because his family gave up on him and wont talk to him anymore. He also told me that his brother is rich enough to Air Condition hell, which I thought was incredibly hilarious. 

Basically, I fell in love with San Francisco. I need to stop going places, because I think that I love seeing and being a part of new cultures and places...and the more places I go the harder it is to not go back! 

Although I think that I am readjusting back well, it still is difficult. I find myself missing parts of Spanish culture, and speaking spanish in general. I am blessed with about 4 people on my ASB staff that enjoy speaking spanish, so we will just sit and chat in spanish...which has been amazing for me. 

I definitely feel like I left a part of my heart over in Madrid... I miss my friends and my life. I feel so incredibly blessed to have been able to have this experience and know that i learned so much. I am super excited about my ASB position, for those of you who dont know...it is called the multi-cultural senator and bascially I am the link between ASB/the student body and the Multi Ethnic Programs Office, which is where my scholarship group is out of. My big project for the year will be trying to get a Diversity class general studies requirement for all students. Basically it means that there would be another requirement for students, that they would all have to take a Chicano Studies Class, or a basic diversity class, or something like that. I am really excited to begin meeting with faculty and staff about it for Fall '09! 

I will keep writing on here to let you all know what Im doing during my last year... it has been so crazy to introduce myself as a senior! 

Kelly

Last weekend in Madrid

My last weekend here was fabulous. On Friday my friend Medha and I went out for some tapas, and then stumbled across this irish bar and decided to go in. We were one of 3 groups that were in there, cause it was kinda off the beaten path. However, we made friends with everyone inside, and the 3 groups turned into one! It was really fun because the other group had an Italian guy, 2 Irish guys, a guy from Poland, and 2 guys from Bulgaria. One of the other girls was Canadian, and then there was me and Medha, the Americans! 

We ended up hanging out with them the following night, because Gio, the Italian, works at one of the biggest discos in Madrid, and could get us in for free! This place was incredible! It has 7 different stories, and the top one doesnt have a roof! So you can walk around and sit in these elegant leather chairs underneath the beautiful night sky. It was phenomonal. The other floors had different kinds of music, one with kareoke! We did not spend any time on that floor, thank goodness! The very bottom floor was the biggest, and every once in awhile they would blow a huge amount of cold fog stuff from the ceiling. I dont know if you can imagine it, but it was awesome! Sunday I ran around and did errands after going to the pool for awhile. While I am going to miss this city so much, Im ready to go home and start the next stage...

I want to thank all of you who went along with me on this journey...it was amazing and I feel so lucky and privileged to be able to have been able to have this experience. You all are in my thoughts, thank you so much for all the love and support you have shown me. Let me know if any of you want to read my 3 twenty-page papers! (ha, once they are finished!)

Paz y Amor, 

Kelly

So reality is really starting to hit me. I feel like all of my blogs are getting to be about the same thing, so ill tell you guys a story instead. 

My host dad has been a little difficult to live with, simply because he thinks that everything he does is right and everything anyone else does is weird. You would think, since he has traveled the world and is married to an American, that he would have a broader perspective, but apparently not. He is always telling me that I am weird, or I am doing something not normal.  So the other day he brought out this squash-looking melon thing for after lunch. He asked me if I would rather have an orange or melon, and of course, I said orange cause I dont like melons. And this melon did not look like any melon I had ever seen.  He looked at me like i was the craziest person in the world and was like, "you dont like melon? But melon is normal!" And I kinda lost it. He is the only person in Spain who has gone out of their way to make me feel different, which is infuriating because everyone else says I am "casi Espanola" which means almost Spanish. So I just looked at him and said, "What is normal? Normal doesnt mean anything. There are people who dont eat meat, or pasta, or anything else you can mention. There is no such thing as normal. There is only normal for you." And he was kinda taken aback, cause usually I just either ignore his comments or treat them like a joke, but I just couldnt take it anymore. And you know what he said in response? "Well, melon is normal." I wanted to throw the melon at him! By that time i just let it go, because there was no use in continuing it, but seriously. I couldnt believe it. 

Other than that, I am slowly melting away in the heat, its been over 100 these past few days...and what is worse, is that when the sun goes down the temperature does not drop. So basically im in a state of constantly sweating! 

This has definitely been a summer of learning and growing...I feel like i might have to reintroduce myself to you all! In many ways I am a completely different person, but also I am still Kelly. It will take some time for me to figure out how my new thoughts and ways of thinking fit into my life back at home. Right now i would say that i just feel unsettled. I cant feel comfortable here because I leave so soon, but I am not comfortable with the idea of leaving.  I am getting excited to see my friends and family, and go back to some old routines. But its hard to think about leaving all of this behind. Everything here will just go on as normal... except I wont be here. 

I am just going to try and enjoy every minute I have left here, and think about all of the wonderful people that are waiting for me back home. 

Love to you all, 

Kelly

The Beginning of the End

So yesterday was my last day for my internship. When I was leaving I was pretty upset, mostly because it just felt so weird. Being a global studies major, since freshman year my friends and I have been talking about where we would go and what we would do. It was so great because we knew we had the world on our fingertips. So then when it actually came time to start planning things, I started to freak out, cause it was so weird to actually see the GLT in the near future. Then all of a sudden i was on my GLT, which was mind boggling as well. But now I just sit back and wonder where all the time has gone! I finished my GLT internship. It literally is crazy for me to think about. Yesterday my friend Medha told me, well, now you just have to start looking at the next thing...and decided to start talking about jobs and grad school. I looked at her and was like, ok. That is a little more overwhelming...and I dont need that right now! 

(But, I will let you all in on a little secret, that I did start looking at grad schools the other day, and that UCLA is one of the top 10 Urban Planning Schools in the nation...so as of right now im thinking ill live down in LA after APU for a couple years and then go. They like people with work experience!) 

I started writing my research paper... which in many ways felt awesome cause I have everything I need and its something that I love writing about, but it also means that my time here is really starting to wrap up, which is sad. If you dont know, I am writing about how one's social network is the primary reason that people become homeless...and that other factors like alcoholism, depression, mental instability, etc just make the situation circular and almost impossible to get out of. I am really excited about it because I have a lot of academic material to back it up, along with great personal stories. 

So I was living with a mom and her daughter, and we had a blast just hanging out together. But then they went to vacations in New York, and the dad got back from Japan...so now its just me and him. I have to admit, sometimes it is a little awkward...especially when he took my dirty clothes from my room and washed them...and hung them all out on the line! I was pretty embarrassed cause there was a ton of underware in there. I mean, he is married and has a 15 year old daughter, but still. And its so weird cause obviously he cooks for me and does my dishes, which is just weird for me. And he is REALLY loud, and the last few days he has started blasting opera music at 8am. When i dont get home till close to 2am because of my route, at 8am that is the LAST thing that I want to hear. So, needless to say, things have changed a lot since he got here. 

So now I am just trying to balance enjoying my last weeks here in Spain and getting my homework done... I have so much to do its not even funny. So if you think of it you could pray that i be really organized and get everything done that I need to. Oh and I am getting bloody noses every morning and sometimes during the day too...so it would be great if that could stop too. 

I love you all! Thanks for being on this journey with me! 

Kelly

A broken heart is a curious thing...

These past two weeks I have been a lot more intentional about asking the people on my routes about their stories: why they sleeping on the street, what happened, and what it would take for them to get back on their feet. What I have found is the most curious thing... they all have broken hearts. Bad things happen in everyone's lives, but with these people their stories are insane... instead of one, two, or three bad things happening, around 8 happen, usually including the loss of their social network: either their significant other, or their family. I feel like in the states we are a lot more individualistic, so if something bad happens, we figure it out, and are taught to pull ourselves up. Here, the individual has no significance--only the group. So when the group falls apart, they literally lose all motivation to live. They usually start to drink to cover up the pain, cant maintain their house or their job, and within a short period of time, are on the street. I have heard numerous people tell me that this is their situation now, and they have no intention of changing. Its like life on the street becomes their distraction for their past life, and they usually find a group to be apart of, and because that is what matters, to be apart of the group, they would rather live on the street and feel like they are apart of something than live a meaningless life alone. I have even talked with people who are working and have money, but they dont desire to live in an apartment. 

are Today I went to a comedor with one of the guys on my route...a comedor is where the homeless go and eat for free. Since I went with him, it was like I was like everyone else, which turned out to be difficult for me. It hit me when the person handed me the little token, much like the token I used to give people when I worked in the food pantry during LA term. But this time I had the token, this time I handed it in for food. My entire body started to resist this! I could feel the tension swelling up inside of me. A huge part of me wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, Im not homeless! Im studying, I promise! But then i realized it didnt matter. People were in the room eating for a million different reasons, and I wasnt better than any of them. But it was definitely hard. I am going to another one tomorrow, to see the difference in people in the different zones, so that should be really educational for me. 

I have learned a lot just living in the city as well. I love it... I love being able to walk everywhere, being able to walk across the street and buy a loaf of bread...and seeing people everywhere I go. It is different though...there isnt a quite moment ever. Even last night, I got home from my route and went to bed around 2 and someone was blasting their TV. This morning I woke up (like every morning) to a baby screaming its head off. If its not that, then its the insanely loud garbage trucks, or the smell of the fish store a couple doors down. But it honestly doesnt make me mad! I love that everyone elses lives affect mine. There are always people outside...sitting on benches, talking, taking a walk, or visiting a friend.  But the thing I love about here that is very different from LA is that there is still a ton of open space! there are parks everywhere, with greenery that makes me feel alive. 

I have had a couple moments where I felt like I could almost be ready/ok with coming home, but it is always countered with a deep, deep sadness. I had to tell all the people on my route that next week is my last week, and everyone asked me when are you coming back?! Not are you coming back, but when? And when I told them that its really hard for me to think about leaving, they were like, well just stay here! It sucks, and it hurts, but I have never felt so affirmed in my life. The people want me here, they like me here, and are sad to see me go. I know next week will be really hard, but I am also confident that one day I will see them again. 

catching you all up...

Sorry I haven’t written in awhile, life has been a little crazy! I went to Barcelona, Sitges, and Lisbon with my parents, and my brother and his girlfriend. It was great! I absolutely loved 

Lisbon, I cannot wait to go back and see other parts of Portugal. I also have decided that I want to learn Portuguese next! I also now have very limited internet access, so all of you who have written me I really appreciate it, and I am sorry if I haven’t written back. The internet in the apartment is completely broken, and they cant figure out how to fix it. The company was at our house for 3 hours on Sunday, and they still couldn’t figure it out. Go figure.

So I have moved in with my new host family, and it is the best situation ever! The mom is American, but she only speaks Spanish to me, and there is a daughter, Andrea, who is 15. They are incredibly nice, and their house is full of pictures and artifacts from their travels all over the world. I live only 10 minutes from my internship, in the center of the bustling city. Its great cause I live in the part where everyone works, not in the touristy part of the city. I made a great friend with this girl from the states, named Medha, and she only lives about 10 minutes from me walking. It is really fun to be living so close, and I find myself a lot less tired because I am not commuting anymore.

My internship is going great, Im sad that I only have a couple more weeks to go. I am getting a lot of information for my research paper, and am excited to start writing it! Basically I will be writing about the difference between homelessness in LA and Madrid, and how the presence of social programs helps alleviate homelessness. Now, you all may have very different opinions about how much the government should spend on services for people, but the stark differences in numbers makes me certain that with the implementation of services, homelessness could disappear in LA. In the city alone, there are about 700 homeless people here in Madrid. In LA, the number is around 50,000. In Madrid County there are about 5,000 and in LA County about 70,000. Its incredible, right? One of the main reasons there are so many less is because Spain offers something called the Renta Minima, which is a service that gives a stipend for a apartment. Through this many people have a place to live, even if they are having trouble finding a job.

So last weekend I went to Pamplona to see the bulls in the streets. What a weekend I had. I couldn’t begin to write all of the crazy things that happened, but ill give you a little glimpse of the weekend. We arrived on Friday night, 3 hours late because of traffic in Madrid. That made our 5 hour bus ride 8 hours. Medha and I had reserved a hotel room 3 days before, in a 4 star Golf and Spa resort. From the street it looked like a castle! We were a little nervous because the room was 150 Euro a night, so we got 4 other friends to go with us. But of course, hotels don’t allow this, so we found a back door and snuck the rest in. It was incredible! The room was HUGE, and 4 of us slept on the ginormous bed while the other 2 slept on the floor. We got to bed around 130 and slept till 430, left at 5am to go into town and get a spot on the street to see the torros. As many of you can imagine, I was not the happiest camper, but was ok because they run at 8am, and afterwards we could go back to the hotel and sleep till our check out at 1. To make a long story short, Medha and I got to take advantage of their exquisite spa, which included 6 different kinds of showers, one with the aroma of tropical flowers. There was a pool, spa, sauna, and steam room, and yes, these chairs you lay on and they get warm and relax your muscles. I was in heaven. But, we had to leave there around 430pm to meet the other girls in the city. This is where the fun began, because at 5 we were in the city, and didn’t have any place to stay, and basically just hung out until the next morning. The crazy thing is everyone does this. For 24 hours the streets are full of people drinking, bars are open, it is completely nuts!!! At about 2 am I was pretty tired of it all, and really annoyed with drunk people, and it was really really cold and rainy, so we decided to try and find a place to catch some sleep. Almost as soon as we found a place in the train station to close our eyes, (this is after walking around for about 9 hours) the police came and said they were closing the station. So, after thinking for a bit, I remembered that on my route there are a lot of people who sleep in the little rooms that have the ATM’s, cause they are open all night, and are warm. We found one (called a cajero) and seriously, I think I got the best 2 hours of sleep that I have ever gotten in my life. It was nice and warm, and we litteraly just lied down on the floor and closed our eyes. Probably one of the craziest things I have ever done, and will ever do in my life. Around 530 we got up, and decided that we would try and catch the 7am bus. Our tickets were for 10 am, but we were hoping that people would forget and seats would be open. That didn’t end up working out, so Medha and I went to the plaza and watched from the seats there. It was pretty amazing. The best thing about it was being able to see Spaniards in their element. It was just like one of our baseball games….everyone knew what to chant or yell at every point in time. They knew when to stand up, what songs to scream, it was amazing. I really thought it was beautiful. That is, until at the end they let a baby torro out and all the people were playing with it and abusing it… that I didn’t like, and actually ended up leaving the plaza early cause they were mistreating it so much.

As for now, I am back to my studies, and will remain in Madrid for the rest of my time here. My host mom is a great cook, she even got me to eat mushrooms! Well, I did shove a piece of bread in my mouth after every bite, but still, I ate them. Yes mom, I know you’re proud of me.

I love you all a lot! Tell me how you are…I am going to start going to my internship every day because I can use the internet there, so I should be a lot more connected. Hope you are well!

Besos, Kelly

My thoughts...

I am going to take this oppertunity to try and sort some things out, and those of you who are older and wiser than I, (which is pretty much all of you) I would really appreciate your advice.

I have never felt so confused in my life. I absolutely love the life I have made here. And honestly, thats what I have done. I came here knowing absolutely no one, and now have a wonderful circle of friends, a great job, and am moving in with a new family closer to the city in July. I have made this little life for myself, and I am very, very scared to leave it. I know I still have a month and a half here, and that a lot can change in that time, but right now, I really dont want to leave. I am scared to go home and be pushed into a world where people dont understand me anymore and dont know what i have been through. I feel like I have two different lives, and I dislike feeling so divided.

After LA term, I was absoluetly certain that i wanted to live in the city after I graduate. But now, Im not so sure. Seeing how Solidarios works makes me want to see NGO´s from all over the world. The love and hope they give people is amazing, and I want to experience the love I see here in other places as well. As difficult as it has been, I have fallen in love all over again with cultures, and want to learn and experience as many as I can. But what does that mean? Basically my question is what the heck am I going to do when I graduate? The first question is deciding between the world and LA.

Basically, I know that when I go back to school life as it were starts again, and that scares me. I feel so free here, and even though I have a ton of homework, I have never had so much time to just learn on my own and at my own pace. I dont want to make decisions, and I dont want to be asked what I am going to do when i graduate. I feel like for the past few years I have been trying to convince everyone that I am an adult, and now I dont want to be one. Today when I was thinking about all of this and thinking about leaving, I started crying. The future has always been so far away, and its getting closer now, and im scared that I wont be ready for it.

Basically I just need some peace, because I really dont have to figure out any of this right now, but it just bothers me that I dont know what i want. for those of you who really know me, youre probably surprised to read that, because I always know what i want. But now Im really confused, and uncomfortable with that confusion. I dont want to make a mistake, and I dont want to regret not doing something.

I appreciate all of you who read this, it is a huge comfort to know youre along with me through this. Any and all thoughts are appreciated!

A day to remember...

Let me first just say thank you to all of you! Even though I am very far away from most of you, I have never had a birthday where I felt so loved by the people who care about me! Thanks for all of your comments and emails, they meant the world to me!

Ill let you know what went on that night! Earlier in the day my parents gave me a beautiful dress to wear with a pin that said 21! I was also greeted by my aunt an uncle with a boquet of roses. So first we went to a French restaurant called El Bistro, which I had found earlier that day, and after looking at the menu for about 5 seconds decided we would go there. We had wonderful wine, and for starters an appetizer that is called croquets, basically it was bree cheese with a crispy outside, drizzeled with honey. YUM! Then I had steak with bernaise and asparagus....again, YUM! It was absolutely delicious! We then moved on to a jazz club where we sat, had some drinks, and listened to a spanish jazz band with a trumpet, trombone, and drums. They were great! They even sang in English! Then my parents and sis accompianed me to a dance club where a bunch of my friends came to hang out! they had about one beer and then decided to leave, cause it was about 130 at that point, but it was great cause they got to meet a ton of my friends. We had a few drinks and then at about 3 we left for a discoteca, which was awesome! I think we left there around 5 am, cause i had to stay at my friends´house cause the metro doesnt start till 6am. But yea, it was absolutely a day I will never forget!

Tomorrow I am really excited because my internship is participating in an event to count all of the homeless people in Madrid. This is an amazing oppertunity for me and my research! I have been learning a lot, and am excited to start writing my paper in July.

This Sunday i meet up with my parents again and were off to Barcelona and Lisboa! I am so excited you dont even know! I have had two friends from home go to Lisbon, and both of them have told me how Portuguese I look! I am so excited to get in touch with a part of my ancestry, to see the culture that my grandparents came from!

There are a bunch of new pics up, and I know I have to say this or else Ill get in trouble, but Mere took some of them! There is also a great pic of my mom and dad that you should see.

What Ive learned: you have to live every moment to the fullest! I already feel like my time here is slipping away! I want to take advantage of every oppertunity that i have here, and am excited to keep learning.

Paz y Amor,
Kelly

Mi Cumpleanos!

Its my birthday! haha, my parents, aunt and uncle, and sister are here to help me celebrate! Were about to go out for some drinks, then get some dinner, then go to a jazz club for some musica, and then im off with my friends to go dancing! Itll be an awesome night! 

Mere took me to Toledo the other day, ill be sure to put up some pics soon! 

Love you all!

It finally happened...!

So the day has finally come! The day I have been waiting for. I was sitting on the bus, on my way home from my internship, and a guy got on. I was only halfway paying attention when it suddenly dawned on me. I knew everything that they had talked about! The conversation was short, only about where the guy was going and a little more, but it was fluid in my head! Usually if I dont pay close attention, I might as well not listen at all, because if I come into a conversation halfway I cant comprehend it. But the guy said something about a street that is close to the one that I live on, and amongst my other thoughts I thought, hey, I know where that is. And I surprised myself because I hadnt been trying to understand! I hope you all understand how monumental this is!!!! haha.

I want to help you guys understand a little of the culture here. I have been having a little bit of difficulty with it, and am struggling with how much of my own culture I am really able to change. For example, people here touch a lot. I mean a lot a lot. I was at a bar the other day with some friends, and one of them asked me, ¨Whats wrong? Why are you so tense?¨ And it was only then that I realized that I had my shoulders hunched up because there was barely any space! But I didnt realize it before that I was trying to take up as little space so that there might be some space around me. But can I really help that? Or can I change it? I am not sure. Its not wrong that I like my space, and that I dont really enjoy strangers touching me. But if I really wanted to, could I become comfortable with it? Im not sure. It is a strange place though. This is a city where they touch you all the time, (I have had ladies get my attention by grazing my chest!) but they dont smile! I walk around, and when I make eye contact with people I smile. Here, people dont. Apparently they can basically be sitting in my lap but they cant smile! What is up with that?!

The other thing that is very interesting to me is the significance of the house. It is a very private place! Its very different from houses in the US, which are made for people to come and hang out at. The house is for everyone, all friends and family. Here, people dont hang out in the house. There have been times where Belen will have a visitor, and their whole 20 minute conversation takes place in the hallway, not in the spacious comfortable living room. My friend came over because he is going to take one of the baby rabbits when they get older, and he was really nervous about coming into the house. I had to force him to see the whole house, not just the kitchen where the bunnies are, because he kept saying, no, its your house, I shouldnt, no. And I was like, its ok, seriously, come see the balconey!!! Its a little strange for me, because these people hang out with each other till 6am every weekend, but they dont visit each others houses! Its not wrong at all, its just a different culture, and I am just trying to get used to it.

Other than that, everything is great! I went to segovia this past weekend, which was awesome, cause they have the ancient aquaducts there. Spain has a beautiful countryside! I will put up the pics tomorrow.

Hope this finds you all well!

Love, Kelly

I cant stop smiling.....

So this week kinda sucked cause I was really sick. I am currently taking amoxocillian because my lymph nodes swelled up and it hurt really bad to swallow. My whole body ached... it was terrible. But with my medicine and the 600mg ibuprophens that Belen gave me I feel much better!

Im not sure what it was, but this week changed a lot of things for me. Belen was really great and took care of me, and all of my friends here were messaging and calling me to make sure that I was ok. My professor told us that when we got here we would have to create our own social network, and I guess i did it kinda sub-consciously, because I have! And it feels so great! I know that I love my home and my friends and family back there, but even when I was sick, I couldnt really feel sad! And this is kinda strange for me. For those of you who know me really well, you know when im upset I kinda sit in it for awhile until I get through it. One example of this is that I´ll listen to really depressing mucic, because it usually makes me feel better. You know, to know that someone else knows how I feel. But lately I cant even do that! Even when people arent around I have a smile on my face! And I love music, so i always make playlists for different aspects of my life, and my playlist for being here is completly full of energizing, lively, yet meaninful, songs. Its great! Its joy... I think i finally have figured out the difference between being happy and being joyful. No im not that happy, cause I cant drink or eat ice cream for 8 days!!! But my soul is full of joy because of all the love and support I have not only here but back home too.

If that all wasnt enough, I also couldnt sleep a wink last night because my sister surprised me that she will be here next thursday!!!! I literally laid in bed, trying to sleep, laughing because I was so excited.

Oh, and the rabbit that is in our house is going to have babies. Ah my life in Spain!

I love you all a lot!!!

Dancing Country, bacon, and forgeting English!

As I sit back and think about this last month, all I can say is that it has been a serious whirlwind! Getting here was difficult, and really stressful, but I realized yesterday that before I got here I had had acid reflex all semester, and I haven’t had it at all since I got here. And its strange, cause in some ways I feel like a completely different person, and in some ways I feel like I am exactly the same. Its been equally amazing and wonderful as it has been hard. I do feel lonely sometimes, but its been great to live with Belen and Clara, because I really feel like I am a part of their family now. The other day Belen asked me what kind of music I like, and I told her country (you try to explain to someone in a different language what Indie and Emo music is) and she got a huge smile on her face. She told me she loves country, and asked me if I knew how to dance to it. I said yea, not really thinking about it, and when we got home she insisted that I bring my computer, play some country, and teach her to dance. Now, for those who have had the “pleasure” of dancing with me, you know that it is quite a sight and there probably isn’t much else like it. Despite this, I decided line dancing would be the easiest, and put on some Kenny and showed her. She loved it! (granted, she also loves saying the English word washing machine)

Cultures are so amazing, and its insane how we constantly walk into different ones thinking that our way is the best. The washing machine is in the kitchen here in Spain, which I just think is crazy, but its completely normal for people here. And they eat this ham…ugh…its called jamon Serrano, and I swear, its raw. I mean, its not, but its really see through, and it has a texture that I cant bite with my teeth! I feel like a cave person when I eat it, because it wont tear! So the other night I decided that this is our bacon, and Im not sure what they do with it, but all I have to do is fry it up a bit and Ill be set. Well. Lets just say Clara and Belen ran into the kitchen wondering what I was cooking because smoke filled the house. I didn’t burn anything, but I don’t think they are used to things being fried. (sad, I know!!) then Belen fell over laughing when she found out I was frying the ham. To her, it was like I took a piece of deli meat and fried it up (something we would not usually do). Anyway, it was bomb, and they both loved it, and I put it on some bread with some chicken (of course, mom) and cheddar cheese. YUM-O! Belen then proceeded to tell me that yes, they have bacon, and that this is normal ham and im not supposed to fry it up. She was like, if you want bacon, ill get you some bacon! It was pretty funny, but now I don’t know what to do cause I have 2 packets of that ham stuff and I cant eat it the way it is! It even has sections of white fat on it… and is cut length wise. Seriously…its bacon.

I watch Spanish tv, and even though I understand about 2% of it (they talk way too fast) I have found one show that I really love. It’s a Spanish cooking show, and the old man on it wears white crocs, silly decorated pajama pants, and the white coat with the really tall hat on. Imagine it! And he sings when he cooks. Its great. Well, I guess I was loving it until the other day when he brought out the meat of a rabbit, which was still in the shape of a rabbit, and then cut off its head. I changed the channel, and will watch again when hes making tortillas or something.

I cant believe that its already June! Its crazy. Time has gone by really fast here, and when I think about leaving, I already miss this place! I put up some pictures from this past weekend when my friends and i went to a festival, which was basically a fair. Except instead of corn dogs and french fries, they have buckets of cold vegetables that have been soaking in vinegar. ick. But, they also have churros which are really really yummy.

The last thing Ill tell you is that I am having a hard time thinking in English! My friend was asking me about the expression ¨better now than never¨, and i knew what he was saying, but for the life of me I couldnt say it in English. I couldnt remember how the words went! It was ridiculous! And even now as I look at it Im not exactly sure that thats how you say the phrase.

I hope you are enjoying the summer! Hopefully the sun will come to Madrid, I still have not worn shorts once!

ps, and dad, they have the same saying here once on the lips forever on the hips!!!

Beso!

A little reminder of home...

The best part of this week was walking into a grocery store and accidently running into the tiny little mexican food section. I literally jumped in the air!!  They have these funny little kits where you can make fajitas or burritos,  where all you have to do is buy a little bit of ground beef! Its great. 

I am finally really starting to feel like I am a part of my family. Yesterday, we watched this concert called Eurovision, which you all should look up, where 24 European countries send a new singer and they have this huge concert, and after all 48 countries vote for the best. Belen told me that its really political, and that if a country doesn't like another country, they wont vote for them. The concert was amazing and wonderful, sometimes they sang in their own languages, but most of the time it was in English. Which, I thought was a little sad, but what can you do. 

My internship is going well too! The people are starting to get to know me, and they remember my name and ask how my classes and other things are going. I have made some really good friends here too, through my internship, and they have been great. I hope someday I will be able to show them the level of hospitality that they have shown me. They have literally brought me into their lives and made me one of their own. They make me dinner, take me out, are patient with me and my spanish, and always make sure that I am ok. The coordinator of the program, Julian, has been especially helpful. He always texts me to make sure that I make the metro on time, or other things like that. I feel like there are people here that I can depend on, and its really nice because they are so great and dont make me feel like a bother. 

Lets see, its less than a month till Im 21!! Woo Hoo! and a happy early birthday to my dad! 

Thats all for now, sorry if its not that exciting! Be thinking of me, I really do miss my friends and family. 

Besos~

Theres a bedea in my bano...

lol there seriously is. I walked in the first day and was like, why are there two toilets??! And then I realized what it was. It was pretty funny. Im trying to get used to my homestay, but its been a little weird. The mom is just really strange! She has 11 different kinds of laundry detergent. No kidding, and she keeps her nail polish in the fridge. And shes always trying to feed me! She says, Estas muy delgado! Demasiado! Which means that i am too skinny. She also says that if I dont eat more my parents are going to kill her. I just laugh and laugh.

I am finally at a place where I am not the loudest person! Everyone here is sooo loud! They scream! And they interrupt you a lot, and dont seem to notice or care! But they are kind and they love that Im an American, and always tell me about how they spent some time in some city. They think that because Im american Ive been to every state! And they are really confused when I tell them i havent been to Miami or New York. They wonder what Ive been doing with my life!

I have met a lot of great people, and have started to make some great friends! I had a great conversation with Belen this morning about guys and how I know if they are interested in me, and what I should do to tell them polietly that I am not interested! But she is convinced that I will fall in love here and will come back after I finish school. She says Porque No? (why not?) And I try to explain to her that this is an educational trip and Im not looking for a novio (boyfriend). But she says that she doesnt understand why a girl like me doesnt want a novio. Im not exactly sure what that meant. All that to say, it has been a little weird here cause the guys are very forward, and while guys in the states will whistle, these guys scream Que Guapa!!! (literally, how beautiful) at me as i walk down the street. Its really strange.

But I am getting settled in here nicely, and i cant believe its only been a week and a half, I feel like Ive been here forever. My spanish is great, a lot better than I expected. I do need to work on my past tense though.

Oh and one more funny story, people here park their cars in the middle of street and run into stores. its hilarious. When belen came to pick me up, she parked in the middle of the street, and there were cars zooming past us as we tried to put my suitcase in her incredibly small car. (all the cars are small here) I couldnt help but laugh. Every time Im with her its an adventure, something crazy always happens. I love it!

Hope you are all well!

Besos!

Kelly

Besos, besos, y mas besos!

Everyone here loves to kiss! Its funny cause when I meet people, I am programed to reach out my hand, which here is pretty rude. When you meet someone, you kiss twice, once on each cheek. I actually really like it, but I keep forgetting! Today I went to el centro again and it was a beautiful day. I saw lots of awesome, grandiose palaces and buildings, I ate at a place called Museo de Jamon, which means ham museum. Ill be sure to take my parents there when they come--you guys will love it! And, for Meredith and Dad, I took a picture of my sandwich and the first beer that I have bought...it was pretty cool. I was pretty excited, but I felt really strange sitting there at the bar and taking pictures of my food. (thats how much I love ya, mere!) A lot of the new pics are from La Palacio Real, which is where the king of Spain used to live. And I heard two people speaking English, so I asked where they were from, and one was from Belgium, and the other London! They were only staying in Madrid for a couple of days, but I did talk to them! 

So tonight I started my internship, and I have never, really, never, felt so enlivened!! I LOVE talking in Spanish! And I do not know why this is, but in LA I have always disliked working with homeless people. And, since I decided to come to Europe while some of my friends are braving Uganda, I decided that I would do the thing that is hardest for me. What I feel most uncomfortable with. But tonight was awesome! I loved it! The people were great, I did have some trouble understanding them but most of the time it was alright. They were hilarious, cracking jokes all the time, and I even kissed them on the cheeks! I would never have done that in LA. I dont know why, I feel like I should feel more uncomfortable here, but I love it. We brought thermoses of coffee, chicken broth (warm), and juice and then had cookies and crackers, and there are different routes, and we went on our route, and the girl I was with, Isabel, knew a lot of the people, and we just sat on the street and talked with them. It was awesome. We did get some looks from other people, but I think that they were more of surprise. 

The people were so great too! They love that I came all the way from Seattle to come and work--it actually says a lot about their program and purpose. They asked me tons of questions about Clinton and Obama, and they asked me to just say words in general in English. It was so funny!

So yea, I love it here. Don't tell my mom, but I could live here forever! It is fast paced, but not rushed. Does that make sense? People just move quicker here, but its not a nervous-quicker. I swear, even the escalators move quicker here. But I love that they stop everything to eat. I have not seen one person with a coffee cup in their hand outside... cause when they drink coffee, they sit and enjoy it with friends. Its not like our lives where we do everything on-the-go. There are no drive-thrus!!!! And I love Spanish, I love speaking it, and love everything about this place! And yes, I miss home, and my mom's cooking, and all my friends and family, but I have been blessed and privileged beyond belief here. 

Te amo mucho! (love you much!) 

Kelly   

It's raining...

So today was supposed to be my day to do all the touristy stuff, but it was pouring so I didn't get to do nearly as much as I wanted. Somehow my rain jacket did not get into my suitcase, so all I have is two zip up sweatshirts...but Pamela, who I'm staying with, gave me a jacket to wear out in the rain. 

I have been doing everything on my own since I have been here, and haven't really been eating dinner cause Im not sure of where to go or what to do. And honestly, I probably wouldn't have gone out today if Pamela hadn't come home and talked to me and told me where to go and what to see. So I did go out, and I had lunch in a restaurant all by myself (which is something I havent even done in the states, so you can imagine how difficult it was for me) but I am getting a lot of good reflection time, so at least there is some positive aspect to it. Before I left I didn't really think about how hard it would be to travel alone, and how much I would miss companionship, so it has kinda hit me hard since being here. 

I think the reason I havent met more people is because I dont look like an American. I went into a Starbucks today just because I figured there would be tourists/Americans there that I could talk to and make friends with. But no one thinks I am an American! This guy started talking to me and I was really confused as to why I couldn't understand what he was saying, and why  he wasn't understanding me. Then he asked me if I was Italian, and I was really surprised, cause he had been talking to me in Italian and I just thought I couldn't understand his Spanish! But I told him no, and then he asked if I was Spanish, and again I said no, that I was from California (and yes, it pains me to say that, but everyone understands California no matter what language they speak, Washington, not so much) and they were really surprised! He told me that he thought I was Italian because I was very beautiful. Haha, I dont know if that was a compliment for Italians or for me! But it is pretty interesting, because people will see me with my little map trying to figure out where to go on the metro and they look at me puzzled, because they think that I should know my way around. I feel like strapping on my backpack and tennis shoes just so I can get a little more help! 

Yesterday I went to the super market with Belen, my host mom, and that was probably the most stressful time since I have been here. She kept asking me what I want, and I had absolutely no idea! I knew all the words, it was just that I didnt know what everything was, and I didnt know what I should get. Then she took me to the milk section and it wasn't in a refrigerator! And I asked her, how can the milk be ok warm? And she said that once you open it, then you have to put it in the fridge. I was so confused! I asked her if it was leche de vaca (cows milk) and everyone around laughed, Belen was absolutely hysterical. She was laughing so hard she couldnt even get words out. And I just stood there wondering what the heck was going on, and how in the freaking world they could drink milk that had been sitting in their cupboard for a month. I still dont know what they put in it to make it preserve like that. Needless to say I have been feeling a bit out of my element, and am excited for the time to come when I feel a bit more comfortable here. 

One great thing is that I have slept through the nights since being here, and have not really had much trouble with being jet lagged. I think its because I have this uncanny ability to sleep where ever and whenever, so my body must not get as affected. Weird, huh?! 

Besos y abrazos

(kisses and hugs)  

Estoy en Madrid!

That means I'm in Madrid, in case you didn't know! This city is so amazing, I absolutely love it! I have to admit, I stalled a lot this morning before I left the house...I was pretty nervous to just go outside. But once I did, everything was great! I found my internship, which actually was the wrong office, but they were so nice and they helped guide me to the right one. My contact, Carlos, is pretty much the nicest person I have ever met, and has done everything he can to make me feel comfortable! That little Eyewitness Madrid book is my best friend, and I honestly do not know what i would have done without it. (thanks mom!) 

I am going to start my internship on Monday night, and usually people only work one night a week, but they go out and talk with homeless people mon-thurs, so I think that I will do every night unless something comes up. That way Ill meet a lot of people, and hopefully make some friends! I am really, really glad that I did LA term before coming here, because I feel like I have some city smarts that are really helpful. However, la termers, the Madrid metro system puts LA to serious shame! Ill put up some pics later, but it is awesome. Huge, but awesome! I know that I will be able to write an awesome research paper on Homelessness, and I already have been able to narrow it down a bit, because the people here who are homeless stay together in homogenous groups, and I am going to be working en el centro, which is the center of the city. These homeless people are all from Spain, and a lot of them have addictions. Other places around the city are different groups, like immigrants without papers. The internship is extremely organized, which is really nice. 

I am really excited for my Spanish to improve, I can understand pretty much everything that people say, but I am having a bit of trouble expressing myself. But I am also nervous, but everyone I have talked to is really nice, and they have helped me through it. 

Tonight I am going to meet Belen, my maybe future host-mom. We'll see. I am going to keep looking, and Carlos and Jesus (the homeless program coordinator) are going to help me put up signs around the university that say I need a place! 

I really love it here, and cant wait for my family to come and to show them around! I hope you all are great, leave me a comment or email me with how you are! 

hasta luego, 

Kelly

Stuck in DeGaulle...

So, as anticipated, I didn't make my flight into Madrid, so I got in at 1030 am and am waiting until 330 cause thats the soonest flight they could get me on. Its ok though, they gave me a voucher for a free lunch, and I have a lot of reading to do, so its all good. 

The plane was awesome...I feel so spoiled! I had a tv right in front of  me, which showed a camera of the arial view. So legit! And there wasnt anyone sitting next to me, so I got to lie down! The 10 hours passed by pretty quickly. 

I feel really excited! I keep thinking that I should be scared, or at least a little nervous, but I am so excited there's no room for that! I sat next to a lady in the airport who spoke Portuguese and a little English, so we kinda talked in Spanish, and she said she knew that I was an American because I smiled so much! I thought that was kinda funny. 

I dont feel jet-lagged yet...but Im sure it will come. When I get to Madrid Im going to make my way to my friend Pamela's house, and then we will see what happens from there! 

I am thinking of all of you, and miss you already! Thanks for your prayers, keep sending them up! 

Love, Kelly 

Getting ready to leave....

So I'm sitting here thinking about how in 24 hours I will be on a plane to Spain, and for some reason it still hasn't really hit me yet. I am pretty much all packed, my mom bought me some peanut butter, I've got some euros, and Im ready to go. A few weeks ago I went through a period where I was freaking out a lot, but now I feel pretty ok. I still don't have a solid host family, but I have someone to stay with until I find one. 

But I do want to thank all of you who have helped me through this process, who have supported and encouraged me, because I wouldn't be here if it weren't for all of you. 

So just so were all on the same page, I have an internship in Madrid with a non-profit called Solidarios. I will be doing a homeless ministry that will involve talking with homeless people, passing out water bottles and food, and building relationships. I am really excited for this opportunity, and cant wait to get started! If you want to look it up, just type in Solidarios into Google, and when you get to their page you can press the button that says 'ingles' to translate it into English. 

So thanks everyone! And if youre not doing anything at 2pm tomorrow you can pray for me as I get on my plane. 

And fyi, I will have my phone in Spain, and my plan actually allows me to receive text messages for free! It is expensive for me to send any back, but you all can text me whenever you want and tell me you're thinking about me!