The school year is back in full swing, my GLT papers are done, and I have to focus on my new classes. After being my own teacher all summer, and learning and researching on my own, I would say going to class is one of the hardest aspects to coming back. All of my classes within my major are conversational classes where we all pretty much just sit and talk. However, I am taking geography this semester, and last week the teacher actually yelled at me for speaking without being called on. Its not like I interrupted anyone, I just contributed to the conversation. I was embaressed and confused...I dont think I have gotten yelled at in a classroom since jr high! Needless to say, it hasnt been the smoothest transition. Another difficult part is having every minute of my day planned out. And not getting naps! I dont know if I am busier than I was last semester, but i now do not consider it healthy. This American busyness is exhausting, and I am consistently not living up to others' expectations, simply because my body shuts down. I am not able to finish a day without 2 cups of coffee-one in the morning, and one in the afternoon. My body doesnt even have sufficient energy to finish the day! This is not ok, in my opinion.
This semester has also been very difficult because it already has a theme-loss. Just in the last week two of my friends have lost family members, one their mom, the other a cousin. A girl younger than me here at APU also died this summer from a brain anyurism, and my roommate almost lost her brother to drugs and alcohol. The rest of the people in my program and I feel like we have lost a part of ourselves in the countries that we left. This is topped with about half of my closest friends studied abroad this semester, and i am feeling their absence. Also, for ASB, two of the top people in admin that I would be working with are gone, one for sabbatical, the other because of heart surgery.
Well if that didnt get you down, what will? Know that i am not completely depressed, and that I have people to lean on, but any encouragement is welcome. Senior year is just turning out to be a lot harder than I expected, especially with the lingering idea than in a few short months I am going to lose what has been my home for the last 4 years.
I appreciate all of you, and am sorry if I am being a downer. A lot of exciting things have happened this year, and when things lighten up I will be sure to tell you all about them.
Love,
Kelly
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2 comments:
Call me anytime Kel...you are amazing and we love you so much!! Things will get better. Love, Meredith
hey kelly,
haha, you said on my blog you couldn't figure out who i am...sorry for all of the anonymity. This is Melanie Dosen--we had a class together last semester, I lived with Naomi Mehl, and I think we had a few other connections too. I'm not sure how I became an "offical" follower of your blog, but I definitely read it while you were in Spain! Hope senior year is going well for you!
-melanie
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